Rejection Pain is Real

There are people like Jackie in the world, which makes it an amazing place to live and experience. Every day, you might run into your own Jackie, Scott, Robert… However, we can’t expect life to be like a giant sunshine doughnut with rainbow sauce. The fear and pain of rejection is very, very real, especially if it’s on a personal level. That’s why we need rejection therapy.

Just to share a personal experience during my 100 days journey. I once wanted to ask a barber to see if I can cut her hair. I figured she has worked on thousands of heads, it would be very fun if some one can turn the table and give her a good experience. She will most likely say no, but that’s the whole point of rejection therapy.

During the execution, it started out well, the barber was amused and contemplating what to say, but a customer jumped in because he didn’t like the fact that he could also be filmed. His concern was legitimate, but as I explained, he started calling me names and attacking my character. The rejection turned very nasty. (To protect his identity, I won’t show this footage)

Now, this type of rejection is different than a simple no. It’s personal. I believe all of you have had similar experiences in life. When you do something well-intentioned, but is interpreted as the opposite, the rejection hurts much deeper. When the rejection is on a personal level instead of action level, the pain could be excruciating.

Many of you have shared your experiences. Some of you were hurt deeply by rejections, whether it’s in romance or business. Please know that I understand your pain. I myself started this journey because I was rejected. That’s why we need rejection therapy. All lives have highs and lows, and all rejections are temporary. If you are rejected today, move on. The next day, a box of Olympic symbol doughnuts or a soccer session in a stranger’s backyard might really put a smile on your face.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Bradley S Barth

    You blew it! Why not show the video and blur the offenders face? That would REALLY prove your point. Need to add these personal rejection videos to these posts or we will go away… rejected.

    • Debbie Swan

      It’s called respect dude.

  • Laura

    This is a great post! Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Going about one’s day making requests and receiving a “no” is a powerful way to live. I look forward to hearing about your journey.

  • Christie

    I rather not look at such negativity this person may have brought towards you. Thanks for sharing this personal rejection. Although I do believe post both will help with your journey! Keep your head up and pushing forward!

    • bmommyx2

      I agree we don’t need to see some jerk being mean for no reason

  • Tony Koo

    Jia, I think what you’re doing is awesome. I think that it’s fear that prevents us from doing so many wonderful things, and as a fellow Chinese person, I understand the fear of “looking like a fool” or “acting crazy” that perhaps our culture has instilled in us. I think you’re doing a wonderful thing for a lot of people including myself.

    If you get a chance, please take a look at a blog I’ve been working on as well. I talk about the nature of fear and how it can be the root of so many problems in the world:

    http://tonykoo.com/

    Please feel free to take a look and let me know what you think.

  • bmommyx2

    That’s too bad & I’m sorry for your experience. Unfortunately some people are over paranoid about stuff like that. Some people freak if you take a picture of them or their kids. Do they not realize that we live in an environment that is filled with cameras taking pictures & filming you all day long also since most people also have cameras / video cameras with them all the time there is a good chance that you are filmed all the time.

  • Greg Gardner

    Wow, I hate when people can’t keeps things relative to the issue. It seems people of low self-esteem will go NUCLEAR and attack you in the way think will hurt you the most which is usually about your appearance, sad.

  • Chari

    Well said!

  • David L.

    I agree that posting the video is NOT the best thing to do. You may become so popular on You Tube that one day, the guy who went personal on you may stumble upon the video and may not be very pleased at why you posted it. I support your decision Jia!

  • bear

    You should post the video anyway, and the reason is because if the person who made the nasty remarks didn’t want to be shown behaving this way, then he should not have acted in that way in public or towards other individuals. He should think before he acts. Posting the video will bring shame onto him, as he deserves.

    • Lisa

      Couldn’t have said it better myself. I totally agree. You can’t change unless you see yourself for who you really are.

    • Jia

      Bear, I’m not looking to shame people. My goal is trying to gain confidence, not to shame others.

  • lockemcdonnell

    I respect your decision to not post the video, however it would be an intriguing learning experience for viewers if you did!

  • blb1313

    Yes, rejection pain is real, but you shouldn’t take this guy’s attitude personally. He doesn’t know you so it isn’t personal. We don’t know what kind of day, week, month or year this guy had been going through. Maybe he was a victim of a video in the past. Maybe he has high blood pressure, or just drank one too many coffee’s at Starbucks. It would be wonderful if we could be civil at all times, regardless of the circumstances, but sometimes there’s more going on than meets the eye. Again, don’t take it personally.

  • Lisa

    Please post them all. We want to see the good, the bad, and the ugly side of this experiment. Blur the face if you must. This one would have been something to see. Keep going….you can do it!

  • Lisa Mixon

    LGK says:
    I think this is a great therapy for those that have rejection issues. I for one grew up with rejection within my family, targeted toward me. What some people don’t realize is if it is an issue that you have grown up with, rejection, low self esteem etc and you can’t get past it for some reason or another and now want to work forward and heal this is great. I am 52 and still have issues with rejection.

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  • Kristine

    Brilliant! I love how you’re taking the high road, Jia. You have a quick wit and a kind heart. Glad you’re keeping it focused on “What am I learning” instead of “shaming” or “showing another person how badly he is behaving” … bravo!

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